Eleven needs.

One relationship you've been neglecting: the one with yourself.

Psychologists describe a set of relational needs we all have — things we need from the people close to us in order to feel secure and whole. Most of us spend our lives trying to get these needs met by other people, and feeling incomplete when they aren't. This method starts from a different premise: before you can receive these fully from others, you have to learn to offer them to yourself.

Coaching moves through these needs. Here's what each one means:

  • Affection

    Warmth offered without a performance attached. Can you be warm toward yourself, not just when you've earned it?

  • Acceptance

    Being welcomed as you are, not as an edited version of yourself.

  • Autonomy

    Trusting your own judgment and choices without needing outside permission.

  • Connection

    A felt sense of closeness, starting with the relationship you have with yourself.

  • Empathy

    Meeting your own struggles with understanding instead of judgment.

  • Prioritization

    Actually mattering — to yourself — enough to be put first sometimes.

  • Respect

    Treating your own boundaries, time, and needs as legitimate

  • Safety

    A felt sense that you won't be punished — by yourself or others — for being honest.

  • Space

    Room to be inconsistent, to change, to not have it all figured out yet.

  • Trust

    Believing you'll show up for yourself the way you'd want someone else to.

  • Validation

    Having your experience treated as real and reasonable, starting with how you treat it yourself.

Coaching isn't about learning these as concepts.

It's about practicing them, need by need, until belonging to yourself stops being an idea and starts being how you actually live.

Ready to Choose You?

Important note:

Who this is for: People who are done waiting for someone else to fix how they feel about themselves — and are ready to do the slower, steadier work of building that relationship directly.

Who this isn't for: This is coaching, not therapy. If you're navigating a mental health crisis, trauma that needs clinical support, or a diagnosed condition requiring treatment, please work with a licensed therapist — I'm glad to help you think about how to find one, and this work can complement therapy well.